The Query Letter that Failed

Like many writers, my story contains its share of rejection. In this post, I’ll share the query letter for my book Angel from the Rust that got rejected by practically every literary agent I queried. That’s about 46 rejections in total.

I did end up signing with a traditional publisher, so it’s not all bad news. (Heroic Books isn’t like most traditional publishing companies in that it has an application process that doesn’t require you to go through an agent.)

But before that, I wrote a query letter that failed…

What agents want in a letter

Writing a novel and writing a query letter are two different skills. Yet your skills in writing a compelling query letter play a huge part in determining whether or not an agent will pick up your novel.

In order to get better at this skill and learn more about the publishing industry, I took Jessica Brody’s class “Sell Your Novel to a Major Publisher.” (I highly recommend this course for anyone who wants to go the traditionally published route.)

According to Brody, a good query letter needs:

• a strong first sentence (a hook) to catch the agent’s attention
• a description that sells your story
• an explanation as to why you’re querying this particular agent
• a brief biography showcasing your credentials as a writer and/or authority on your story’s topic

Other experts in the publishing world might put this list in a different order, but most of them will agree to including these elements.

In writing my query letter, I made sure to include every item on the list above. And I wrote seven drafts in an attempt to present the best sell for my book.

The Letter

Here’s the final draft I sent out to agents. (I’ve put descriptors in bold to point out the different elements I’ve included.)

Dear [agent],

(Hook) Corvala Keen is like any other teenager growing up on a post-apocalyptic Earth. (Story description) She goes to school to learn history (which covers the cataclysmic war that happened over six hundred years ago), and she abides by her medieval society’s laws (which means avoiding the technology of the past—or forbidden “magic” as it’s called). Despite her attempts to be normal, she’s treated as an outcast because of the madness that runs in her family. It’s only a matter of time before she starts chasing voices and visions like her mother did.

When desperation drives her to the wilderness, Corvala stumbles upon an ancient relic—an android named Serapha. Serapha claims their meeting isn’t by chance, that a powerful code embedded in Corvala’s DNA has guided her steps and brought them together on an urgent matter. A golden man has fallen from the heavens and has bewitched an entire city into believing he’s a god. And his thirst for eternal life demands human sacrifice. Only the code within Corvala’s bloodline—which turns out to be the root of her family’s madness—can unleash the weapon to stop him.

Serapha can dismantle the code, freeing Corvala from her cursed inheritance. But Corvala must first cross the dreaded forests (where past biological experiments now lurk as dragons and other once-mythical beasts) and face off with the tyrannical god. To defeat him, she must not only confront the demons of Earth’s history—she must confront her own.

(Why I chose this agent) Given your interest in science fiction, I believe Angel from the Rust (115,000 words) would be a good fit for your list.

(Brief bio and contact info) I’m an online writing instructor, and my flagship course on fantasy worldbuilding is a bestseller on Udemy with over 775 reviews averaging at 4.5 stars. My fantasy novel The Legender was a quarter-finalist in the 2014 Amazon Breakthrough Novel Awards (in the top 5% of 10,000 entries), and according to Publishers Weekly, the story’s “pacing is brisk…the action is fun and the sweep of the novel works.”

For a full manuscript of Angel from the Rust please contact me at [email address] or call me at [phone number].

Sincerely,

Jason Link

Why it failed

I sent this letter (and other drafts) to 47 different agents. 46 agents rejected my query–either by form letter or by not responding. One agency replied saying they would like to see my manuscript, but that was 6 months after I sent them my query (well after I signed with Heroic).

It’s hard to know exactly why this letter failed since each agent has his or her own preference. But the rejection boils down to one or two things:

• my letter didn’t catch the agent’s attention
• or the agent wasn’t sold by the idea for the story

I could whine and blame the agents for being too picky or not giving my story the chance it deserved. But what good would that do? Agents have literally thousands of letters to read a month. They need to be picky. I just have to accept that my query letter wasn’t up to snuff and move on.

The long-run

Being a writer is a marathon, not a sprint. Writing query letters and stories that sell takes time and practice (a fact Brody emphasizes again and again in her course). According to other authors’ experiences, the first book written might not get any response from agents. The second book, however, might get a handful of agents asking for manuscripts. The third book might have many agents wanting to get their hands on your story.

This sounds super obvious, but the responses get better as you get better at the craft. So if you’ve face rejection in the querying process, chin up. Dust yourself off and keep going. I know that sounds cliche, but it’s true.

My first book, The Legender, couldn’t break into the traditional publishing world. My second book, however, was able to get me a call from Heroic. And this leads to another important lesson that Brody pushes. When putting forth your heart and soul in the face of so much rejection, remember this:

It doesn’t matter how many “no’s” you recieve. All you need is one “yes.”

I’m happy to have received my “yes” from Heroic, and I’m so privileged to be a part of the team publishing Angel from the Rust early next year.

 

What about you? What experiences have you had querying your stories?

Please share in the comments below.